How can I “get paid” to do this stuff? goo.gl/au3e0
— David M Karder (@slantedk) July 31, 2012
BY DMK
A SlantedK Production
Find DMK on Twitter @slantedk
This past weekend I took an in town vacation. Many of the
photos I posted (Twitter & FB) may have indicated that it was more than a normal weekend, so I
apologize for the captain obvious moment.
Entertained by how swimming devices had morphed, I noticed
inner tubes have become gondolas.
Even more humorous, printed on the very
device my Granddaughter Keleigh was enjoying.
Not, “Summer Time Fun,” or “Fun
in the Sun,” oh no:
"SwimSchool, Confidence Building System."
I understand why though, how else can you charge $25.00 for
a piece of plastic?
Who do ya think that label is for?
No way the child cares
what the banner says.
A child’s joy in the water is also a comfort for the
parent. Yes indeed, rest assured that when g-baby sat in that floating
confidence builder there were no worries. I saw no effect or power of that name;
each family member had to take a turn holding the confidence builder.
I remember my day @ such an event.
“Where we going Daddy?”
“Good-Year.”
“I thought we were going to lake to swim Daddy.”
“You wanna jump in the water and die drowning? I don’t think
so. We need to get some inner-tubes from Good-Year to keep you from drowning."
"What is an inner-tube?"
"It keeps a tire from going flat and will prevent your mom from yelling at me cause’ you drown.”
“Ok, Daddy.”
Many may know the tone of SlantedK and long time followers figure
I could not stop thinking about the silliness.
Well you were correct, so I took time to start re-naming some
items.
- The Spoon - Nutrition Implementation Guidance System
- The Diaper - Waist Containment, Storage and Disposal Utility.
- Sun Tan Lotion - Gama Radiation Deflector & Moister Accelerator Protection Crème.
- Baby Shampoo - Formulated Dirt Removal Accelerator.
- Baby Picture - Digital Recognition and Archiving Process.
- Birthday - Acknowledgement of the Time Continuum, in Denial of the Impending Finality of Mortality.
- Lullabies’ - Annoying.
- Sponge Bob Square Pants - The adventures of a troubled man’s inability in dealing with the deep recessions of the mind deformed by deep-sea gravitational pressures.
~*~
And Now For Something Different
Crushed by the weight of your sorrow,
There is no relapse,
To find the light in the darkness,
and we can't hold on.
But it's hidden from your face,
Sinking your form,
the path you should follow,
Breathe its place,
Surrender yourself to the hopes of tomorrow,
Surrender!
And it's always been your spirit,
This. World. Is. Yours!
Hold on to faith, hold on to love,
hold on to who you were.
You're not alone, don't lose sight
we will rise above.
Love!
We are the breathe of life.
Love!
Our hope remains.
Lyric Excerpt - Times of Grace "Hope Remains."
Thanks for Stopping in today!
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