Wednesday, March 14, 2012

Social Network Research Mind Melt

For SlantedK
Author of, From the Ashes, Coming Soon from Solstice Publishing.
Twitter @slantedk
"Every human being has hundreds of separate people living under his skin. The talent of a writer is his ability to give them their separate names, identities, personalities and have them relate to other characters living with him." Mel Brooks
The day slowly comes to a close. A cold glass of water and some sliced fruit on the end table. Slowly sitting back in the recliner the footrest pops into position. Laptop booted, the search engine fired up.

Twitter check, blog traffic confirmed, emails at first address read, respond, second G-mail, Yahoo, back to AOL. A quick review of the spam folders and deletion is complete. Topic research, 25 new tweets, 15 new Linkedin, Blog messages, shared posts, Facebook shares, likes, dislike, subscriptions, thank you notes, thank you to the thank you notes, 25 more tweets, follow, followed, following, friend requests, follow requests, pinquist photos, post, remove, and review. 
Time to write, research begins, 3 steps to more followers, 8 steps to 1000 followers, easy blogging, staying focused, best way to drive traffic, 10 ways to improve traffic, 3 ways to assure productive traffic, SEO a thing of the past, SEO still running strong, blog every day, don’t need to blog every day, 1000 followers a month, free, $4.99, $9.99, $29.99, join my newsletter get a free download, 15 ways to improve your ranking, self publish, blogging is dead, blogging is the way of the future, 3 ways to promote your blog, 10 easy steps to fix the 3 easy ways that didn’t work, formulating a game plan when the last game plan failed miserably, clarifying the mathematical formulation to knovncojvn lksvjb pwjbv lk lkf dlk lkf ldkfj ldkf sdl……………  
Tightening of the chest, eyes cross, FLATLINE, BRIGHT SHINNY LIGHT, EH!

“Security……..we have….. a blogger… on the bridge…. He seems…  unconscious…. Phasers on stun!”
“Captain, he is not moving.”
“Good….point. Engineering!”
“Scotty, … we have a blogger… on the bridge. How did he… get in?”
“I’m in the engine room, I didn’t let him in. What is a Blogger, Captain?”
“Spock, …..any….thoughts?”
“Curious indeed, Captain.”

Whoosh, whoosh, the doors to the elevator open and close, McCoy enters.

“Quick, Bones, check…… if the blogger…. is alive.”
“Damnit, Jim, what the hell are you talking about? You’ve been on this damn ship too long.”
“Right there……Bones, can you…. Save him?.... There must be…. seven ways…. to revive him.”
“Seven ways? Damnit, Jim, I’m a doctor not a blogger!”

“Spock, do…a mind melt. ….We need to know…what … he knows.”
“Captain, we are facing a serious complication, if I attempt this, I assure you it will develop into non complimentary results.”
“In this situation I am unable to link with this, so called, blogger.”
“Why, Spock…. Why?”
“Captain, it is a little known fact that when a Vulcan mind melts with a blogger, there are difficulties, how shall I say it?”

McCoy stands.

“Oh frog farts you green blooded hob goblin. What the pointed eared one is trying to say, Jim, is that he will experience a dreadful case of the Vulcan Hershey Squirts.”
“Yes, Captain, McCoy, color commentary notwithstanding, is correct.”

McCoy continues.

“Remember what happened last time, Jim. The air system took 10 days to fumigate the ship.”
“Ah, good point, Bones.”
“Yes, Captain?”
“Hold off....... on the mind melt.”
“Indeed, Captain.”

They both turn back to McCoy.

“Are we done with the pleasantries, Jim, I think we can handle this one. Nurse, take him to the sick bay.”
“Yes, Dr. McCoy, I will monitor his Johnson.”
“Wonderful, you do that, Nurse, and maybe lay off the Romulan Ale. Damnit, Jim, we really need to get off this damn ship for a while.”
“You may… be right,… Bones.”

“Yes, ….Spock?”
“I find it strange, I do not recollect any introductions, nor do I remember at any time our visitor identifying himself as Mr. Johnson.”

Double tap, rim shot!

Another bright light - Holy S%^&*

The freezer door closes; a handful of ice shuffles inside a six-ounce bourbon glass. Whiskey pours equal in mass to the ice, and a splash of ginger ale to dull the sting.  

A quick motion to the lips and the medication is applied. Refocus, oh my, that was interesting.
Back to the task at hand - today’s topic:

Seventeen Easy Steps to Clarifying the Mathematical Formulation in Comparison to the Reactive and Non-reactive Statistics Pertaining to Constant Variables and the Direct Relation to a “Call to Action” Necessary or Not Necessary in Each Blog!
For just seven payments of $7.42, download the introduction chapter of the four keys to unlocking the Seventeen Easy steps…
Hope ya enjoyed it as much as I did.
"If you're quiet, you're not living. You've got to be noisy and colorful and lively." Mel Brooks

Have a Great Day, Eh!
I endorse this message.
DMK for slantedk president, oh wait, he is.

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